chronic pain

Before I settle in to recount my back pain story, let me fetch my Gokhale Pain-Free™Chair. This is the chair I now use for all my writing, and that’s important, as I am an author of mystery short stories, and spend many hours composing at my desk. Pain-free, I’m now glad to say.

Since retiring from over four decades as a trial lawyer, I write about The Sleuthing Silvers, Barb and Bernie. This image is from my website, sporting my detective shades. www.thesleuthingsilvers.com

I’ve had back problems for many years and coped with it by going to any number of orthopedists, chiropractors, physical therapists, and neurologists. In my experience, doctors (general physicians) can’t do much for ordinary mechanical back pain, other than advise on painkillers.

That management worked for some 25 years, and then I started having chronic pain that wouldn’t respond to my usual formula and go away. I was becoming somewhat desperate as it affected my whole life. I was grumpy enough by nature before the pain started, but became much more grumpy after! 

My rheumatologist, who I’d seen many times, said, “Well, you might want to read this book.” I had never read a self-help book for my health—I just generally don’t believe in them—but I was so desperate that I went ahead and bought Esther’s book, 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back. 

I actually liked the subtitle, “Remember When It Didn’t Hurt.”  You do remember how when you were younger, even if you had back pain, it would be a little bit better each day. You could count on it being better tomorrow, and then soon you would be fine. That certainly wasn’t happening.

Esther’s Book was the only self-help book I ever bought—reluctantly.

I was cynical going into this work, and admit I had a very negative attitude. I had already made some of the arguments against working with my posture that were anticipated in the book—you’re too old for this, it’s too far gone…Yet I have come around to endorsing all the amazing testimonials I read in the book. Because I live in the same location as Esther, I actually know many of the doctors and patients quoted in the book who experienced transformational results with the Gokhale Method.

So I read the introduction. That’s what really did it for me—it’s so persuasive, and it’s so simple—it’s something you then want to do. So I started to antevert my pelvis. After months of pain, I woke up the next day and felt noticeably better. I thought, well, this must be a mistake. The following day I was substantially better, and the next day after that I was pain-free and have been ever since. 

I was just blown away by this, and so read the whole book that explains the Gokhale Method. Esther focuses on her subject like a laser beam. I got the impression she knows the spine as well as anyone on earth. I wanted to meet Esther Gokhale, and as we both live in Palo Alto, I was able to do that and take the six Gokhale Method Foundation's Course lessons. 

The in-person  Gokhale Method Foundations' Course originated in Palo Alto and is now taught by teachers in many parts of the globe. Our online Elements course makes the Gokhale Method accessible to students the world over. www.maps.google.com

When we met, even Esther was surprised by my body’s rapid positive response to the Gokhale Method. She explained to me that I had actually been lucky to have gotten positive results having immediately anteverted my pelvis. Attempting to antevert the pelvis to start with is not recommended as most people have some stiffness at the L5-S1 joint and are therefore likely to sway higher in their lumbar spine as they try to get their behinds behind them, creating even more compression in that area. Alternative techniques, designed to first bring healthy length into the lower spine, are advised as an initial phase. It seems I was lucky—one of a small percentage of people with sufficient protective stiffness in my lumbar area to avoid any sway and additional damage.

(a.)                                           (b.)

Most people will inadvertently sway their backs when trying to stand or sit upright with their behinds behind them (a.). This tightens lower back muscles and compresses the lumbar vertebrae and discs. To avoid this, the Gokhale Method first teaches techniques to elongate and stabilize the spine (b.). 

Anteverting my pelvis made a huge difference to me. I had been doing all the wrong things to my spine, such as sleeping in a fetal position, but soon I learned how to sleep, sit, stand, and walk without compressing my spine. In fact, I could now decompress my problematic area around L5-S1. I came to understand how much of our modern furniture puts us into compressive shapes that tuck the pelvis under, pinching the L5-S1 disc and causing it to bulge back toward the nerves. 

An anteverted pelvis preserves the wedge-shaped L5-S1 disc (a.). A tucked pelvis cannot accommodate this and the lower discs will suffer undue pressure and bulge toward the nerve roots (b.).

When I first showed up for the lessons, I explained that I thought the introductory chapters said it all, and that the rest of it was somewhat repetitive. But I was wrong. Every chapter will give you a little something that may look inconsequential, but the magic is in the detail! And even though I was doing very well with the book, the precision adjustments and personal coaching I got from having the lessons made a huge difference.

These things were so simple, made such sense, and worked. Even while I was so thrilled to have found this work, I also felt very angry that nobody else had been able to tell me these things. I have seen umpteen specialists over the years, and no one ever mentioned the Gokhale Method. The upcoming Randomized Control Trial that has apparently been funded entirely by satisfied students will hopefully put the Gokhale Method on their radar. I would like to see the Gokhale Method become a prominent part of every doctor’s prescription for back pain.

It makes sense that changing your posture can make a huge difference to structures as sensitive as your spinal nerves. Just a millimeter either way can determine whether you get agony, or relief from back pain. I also appreciate the wider health benefits of making these posture shifts. I’ve noticed that my organs work better, and my breathing is better. 

I now realize it’s not sitting that’s the problem. The issue is the furniture you choose and how you sit. The Gokhale Pain-Free Chair helps me to stretchsit, decompressing my lower spine.

My understanding of the relationship between breathing and the inner corset is much clearer from having had the lessons. Reading the book did not make it clear to me how muscle tone in the abdominal wall would act to resist any ballooning outward when breathing, and translate into healthy movement in my back with every breath. What Esther calls our “inner massage therapist.” Lessons enabled me to get that. 

I used to get tired and sore standing in line for just a few minutes. More recently, after about 10 minutes in that situation I thought, “Hey, something’s different, I should be tired by now,” and I realized that standing with my weight in my heels, my body aligned as I learned from the Gokhale Method, I felt fine! Cumulatively these details really work. 

Enjoying pain-free time with my granddaughter and her American Girl Tea Party puzzle.

When I first read the chapter on glidewalking, I thought I needed a PhD in mechanical engineering to understand it! But in the lessons, you get it bit by bit, and the teacher gives exactly what the student is ready for. When I was younger, before I had had so much back pain, I loved to walk—I would walk 40 minutes every day. Then I had a hip replacement in 2018, and since then I have had problems. Esther showed me how my left gluteus medius was weak, and had likely caused my piriformis (a deeper external hip rotator) to overwork and cause other problems. 

I’ve been keen to improve my walking. Here I am hiking in the Tahoe National Forest, California.

This is a quote I can relate to: “Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.” Anglo-American philosopher of law and social reformer Jeremy Bentham, 1748–1832. Portrait by Henry William Pickersgill (d. 1875). Wikipedia

I’m in the early days of my journey and I’ve only finished the course recently. I’m tempted to declare myself “cured” and move on—I can bike ride, swim, and ski without any pain. I’m hopeful that I’ve mastered and internalized what I need to know and keep doing to get on with my life. But I will stay in communication—I can set up an appointment anytime if I need to—all I want is to remain pain-free. I’m so grateful to the Gokhale Method and all who are associated with it. It has changed my life. 

If you would like to find out more about how the Gokhale Method can help support you, sign up to join one of our upcoming FREE Online Workshops. . .

Anissa Morgan is 46 years old and was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. In her own words, her relationship with her body has “always been a little messed up.” She didn’t like how she looked. Growing up, her mom frequently told her that she was slouching and "should pull her shoulders back," anecdotal posture advice many of us have heard.

In adulthood, Anissa spent some time in the Army Reserves as a petroleum specialist. The military approach to posture reinforced what she’d heard from her mom in childhood: that she “shouldn’t be slouching and that everything should look ‘a certain way.’” In her job, she would deliver fuel to military vehicles such as airplanes, cars, and trucks. She had to leave this position due to medical hardship after her first husband suffered a severe accident and broke his back, resulting in his paralysis from the waist down. She didn’t have anyone else to take care of both her husband and her young daughter, so she left the military. It was a short career, but she loved a lot about the military experience and the connections she formed with people during her service.

Anissa, 46, has seen her life dramatically changed by the Gokhale Method. Image supplied.

As the primary caregiver of her then-husband, the load on her body was extreme. She would have to carry her husband’s wheelchair, even while pregnant. Not long afterward, she and her husband divorced. Between pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, and the end of her relationship, she endured a lot of emotional and physical trauma.

“I was never an athlete or in super-great shape, but when I was in the military, I’d started having problems with my knees and my feet. My arches started to fall then,” says Anissa. She feels that may have been the first sign that things were going wrong.

Military posture guidelines encouraging tension and artificial positioning in the body predispose servicemembers to posture problems, which can lead to pain and injury. Image courtesy 272447 on Pixabay.

After her time in the Army Reserves, Anissa recovered from her divorce and eventually remarried. She found a job working at the Officer’s Club doing clerical and computer work. Computers were just coming into widespread use at the time. After that, with her valuable skills, she began working at the computer helpdesk at the USAA office in San Antonio. One element of her job with USAA involved travel: visiting field adjusters to set up laptops for them. One day, after a training, carrying a heavy load of equipment and baggage, she bent over and felt something give. After a couple of weeks where her back was “uncomfortable,” she visited her husband’s chiropractor, which was “like magic.” One morning, however, while making lunch for her three daughters, she bent over to pick up a box of Capri Suns and couldn’t stand back up again, and could hardly lift her leg. That’s where “the really major problems” began.

This continued until she was about 32 and her “back was done,” leaving her unable to work due to severe pain.

With her level of pain, sitting at a computer desk all day was excruciating. “Even with the great resources they have there, like standing desks and the people that would come in from Ergonomics who would tell you how you were ‘supposed to sit and stand’ — all of which I now know was wrong — it just wasn’t possible for me anymore, so I stopped working at about 32.”

Sufficiently severe pain makes even desk jobs impossible, as it did for Anissa. Image courtesy Claudio Scott on Pixabay.

“It just didn’t work”
It turned out that Anissa had a rupture in the spinal disc between her L4 and L5 vertebrae, which resulted in severe pain in her lower back and radiating down her legs, into her calves, and a loss of feeling in her toes. At the time, all she wanted was to have her back “fixed” so she could be sent back to work. By then, she had 3 small children and a job she loved. She needed to be able to show up in her life. With this in mind, she opted to have laminectomy surgery to hopefully resolve her symptoms.

Although the laminectomy gave her around 6 months of improved symptoms, the surgery soon revealed itself to have been unsuccessful in resolving her pain, which returned and began radiating down her legs again. A second surgery was proposed to fuse her L4 and L5 vertebrae. Her surgeon’s perspective had been tightly focused on the disc as the cause of Anissa’s problems, suggesting that once it was removed and that joint was fused, she would “feel grand.” There was again a little relief soon after the second surgery, but it quickly became apparent that even after this fusion, working at a desk all day wasn’t good for her body and something she could tolerate. The one way Anissa could tolerate it was with the use of opioid pain medication, although this further complicated her ability to do her mentally demanding job — troubleshooting computer problems — well. “You’re problem-solving — that’s your gig,” Anissa says. “And when your brain can’t fire, there’s no solving going on. Unfortunately, that was the end of that.”

Within a year of the first surgery, she was starting to feel pain in her legs in a different location. At the time, she had a wonderful pain management doctor, but Anissa was still concerned about the side effects and addictive potential of opiate painkillers. She began feeling terrible pain on the front of her thigh, which would command all her attention while driving an hour and a half to visit a friend. By the time she got home, she’d have a bruise on her leg where she’d been pressing the muscle, trying to get some relief. Her pain management doctor recommended another MRI, which revealed that the discs above and below her fusion site were herniated — just a year after the fusion surgery.

For Anissa, surgery was a “band-aid” treatment which did not eliminate her pain long-term. Image courtesy Sasin Tipchai on Pixabay.

“My decade of darkness”
The worst of Anissa’s severe, debilitating pain lasted a decade during which she didn’t know what else to try. She tried acupuncture, and completed five different courses of physical therapy within a couple of years. She’d given it “everything [she] knew how to do” and was still having to resort to taking enough opioid pain medication to keep herself comfortable while trying to balance the demands of her body with those of being a wife and a mother. “That,” she says, “was my decade of darkness. There was no moment that was comfortable. There was no joy left in my life, because all I could think about was the pain in my spine, which then started radiating up through my thoracic spine and neck. My whole body hurt all the time.”

Anissa was hitting rock bottom. She would wake up at night heaving and sobbing from pain. She didn’t know what else to do or what to try. All her doctors wanted to do was more surgery: fusing two or even three more levels of her spine. Her pain management doctor would give her steroid injections and trigger point therapy, all of which were wonderful, but they weren’t long-term fixes and only took the edge off the pain. She felt like a burden to everyone, and a failure, and didn’t see how she was going to go on living like that.

In a moment of deep desperation, Anissa hid in the closet, kneeled, and prayed for assistance. In her own words, she “saw the light” and was filled with a new determination. She decided to start over, trying every approach again, so that if she did have to resort to another surgery, she would know that she had done everything she possibly could to avoid putting herself in a worse situation. That was her nightmare: that she would do what the surgeons advised and the new surgery would only do what the second surgery had done.

Opioid painkillers were something Anissa was not happy about having to take in such large doses. Image courtesy newsong on Pixabay.

The next day she got online and went in search of acupuncture. She Googled and found an acupuncturist and someone’s testimonial called him a “gift from God,” and hoped that perhaps he could be such a gift for her as well. She walked into the acupuncturist’s office barely able to lift her feet to walk, with numbness in her feet so severe she would avoid the stairs at her house for days at a time for fear of falling. By going to the acupuncture appointment, she felt she was just doing her due diligence and crossing something off the list.

Her first acupuncture treatment was “excruciating.” The acupuncturist is “old-school,” from Taiwan, and she found him somewhat frightening and difficult to understand. After the treatment, he asked her, “How do you feel?” And she replied that she didn’t know, but that she might have been feeling a bit better. She was experiencing a pulsing sensation which was new to her, and which she found encouraging. When he prompted her to lift her legs to waist level by raising his hands as targets for her to reach toward, she was shocked to be able to do so, considering that she had barely been able to walk into the office for her appointment. She got back up from the treatment table “thanking God that maybe this was something” that would continue to help her. She now had hope that something better — perhaps even relief — might be possible.

Acupuncture was the first partially effective intervention Anissa found, but it didn’t fix her underlying posture issues. Image courtesy Hamilton Viana Viana on Pixabay.

Over the next three months, she frequented her acupuncturist, seeing him by her choice for treatment two to three times a week. She could feel the healing occurring in her body. The treatments reduced her pain to a tolerable level. Her next target was stopping the narcotic pain medication she’d resorted to for years. Someone in a chat room online told her about kratom, which she investigated and then used for a short time in order to transition away from the prescription painkillers. “I’ve been pharmaceutical-free for going on about four or five years now. But during that time, I still had pain.” At this point, she still had pain to contend with, but “not to the level where everything was darkness.”

“I’ve learned now that if I manage my life right, I can have joy again. I can do things again.”

The Gokhale Method is something Anissa first heard about from a friend.

A new approach to pain relief
Anissa first heard of the Gokhale Method from a friend with whom she had a reciprocal coaching arrangement: Anissa would life-coach her friend, and her friend health-coached Anissa. “She said, ‘You know, I heard about this, and it might help you.’” Anissa looked it up, watched a few videos, and bought herself a copy of 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back as it was more within financial reach than enrolling in a course immediately. “Let me see what I can get from the $20 book first, before I further the investment. From the book, I was able to tell that it was something and that it made sense to me. With what I had been through and what they had tried to teach me and what was so different.”

Anissa “almost didn’t go to the Pop-up Course.” She was aware Esther was travel-teaching in Texas, but the courses weren’t near Anissa. However, they were close enough for her to try to get to. She felt it was a sign: a response to her prayers. “I was actually experiencing higher-than-normal pain, the most I’d had in a few years, and I really wanted to go, but I didn’t know if I could. I didn't know if I was physically capable.” Determined, Anissa ended up driving 5 hours to Dallas — a drive that would be impossible for her most of the time due to her pain levels, but the endpoint of which was so important to her she didn’t want to miss it. She was assisted on the drive by one of her daughters.

During the drive back to San Antonio back from the Pop-up Course in Dallas, Anissa asked her daughter to take this picture of her standing without pain at a rest area — a truly memorable moment. Image supplied.

Dramatic results in a single day
By the end of the Pop-up Course and the drive home to San Antonio, Anissa almost couldn’t believe the results. “My camel hump on my neck was gone! And I knew it was gone, but I questioned how that had happened.” Just that day, she had noticed her longstanding kyphosis, also known as a “buffalo hump” or “dowager’s hump,” during the halfway point of the course, when she was experiencing some of her usual pain and applied a topical pain relief cream to it. She regularly asked her husband to rub this kyphotic hump to provide her some fleeting relief. But after the Pop-up Course, the hump was gone. This was a big change; nothing she’d ever done before had ever had such dramatic results in such a short amount of time. “The book was great, but I really needed the hands-on [learning], and I need to do the Foundations Course next. My body is used to being a certain way, and it’s taking time to train my brain to do things differently.”

In her own words, Anissa is “thrifty, so [the course tuition] felt like a lot of money.” It was actually her and her husband’s anniversary weekend and she wanted to do something with him for the occasion, but she reconsidered. “I thought, what better gift could I give to my husband than feeling better?”

“Acupuncture has helped me manage my pain to where I can have a life now. It’s a more limited capacity than I would maybe prefer. But what the Gokhale Method did is open the door up wider.” A couple of weeks after the course, Anissa and her husband took a trip to Marble Falls and went hiking for the first time in maybe 15 years. “I remembered how much I loved it, and how good it feels to stand in nature — wow, Lord, really! This is in my backyard? And I never would have seen it, because I was afraid [of debilitating pain].” On her hiking trip, she realized the course was “worth all that money and then some, because we get to do things we used to not be able to do, that we hadn’t done in a really long time. So it was amazing.”

Anissa’s once-debilitating pain is now well-managed enough to let her live her life again, as in this photo during her hiking trip to Marble Falls. Image supplied.

“An answer to prayer”
When she does experience pain, the Gokhale Method has given Anissa the tools to realize that something is in need of adjustment. Anissa is humble and adamant that, in spite of her excellent and heartening results, her posture journey is only beginning. “I only know this much, and it’s made such a huge difference,” she says. “Even knowing that much has made a huge difference. And there’s so much more.” The private online follow-up session with Kathleen was a needed refresher on the techniques. Being able to bring the method home to her space, to her desk, and to her home context was incredibly helpful for Anissa. Aside from the pain relief, Anissa appreciates the comprehensive nature of the Gokhale Method. “It’s for your whole body, working with your whole body the way it was designed to work,” unlike exercises focused only on giving people superficial benefits, like “great abs.”

When asked what Anissa treasures being able to do with her body, it’s the simple things that are most important. She has a young grandson, and being able to pick him up and get on the floor and play with him are precious. The freedom of being able to get in the car and drive for 10 hours and end up in New Mexico, for example, is a blessing. “I want a body that doesn’t limit my capacity to do what I do and what’s important, not to be sitting there with family and friends and wondering when I can go home because my back hurts so much. I want to be able to actually enjoy conversation and interaction with people without the primary brain focus being the pain in my body.”

Anissa considers her whole journey to have been “an answer to prayer. It was too weird the way it all happened, and the results. I always know it’s special — a gift — when it goes this well. Not that the process has been easy, because I feel like I’m constantly having to work on it and I have so much more to learn. But to get such an immediate injection of hope, to feel that maybe I wouldn’t at some point be managing the symptoms of my pain with acupuncture and supplements. I have hope that this can build up to more as I go further in the process and learn to work with my body the way it was designed to be.”

And given her history, she’s no stranger to despair. “I know what it’s like to lose hope. I know how different your life can turn out if you can’t be pointed and guided in a direction that’s not pharmaceuticals, that’s not injections, that’s not surgeries. I’ve met so many people whose long-term results are a disaster. Maybe in the beginning they’re ok, the first few years out, but talk to them 5 years after surgery and they’re all miserable, too. I’d like to be able to help share this and help save people from the decade of disaster I experienced myself.” Thankfully, with the Gokhale Method on her side, Anissa has a brighter future to look forward to.

Future generations, and our ability to show up for them, can prove excellent motivation for reducing our pain and improving our functionality. Image courtesy Sasin Tipchai on Pixabay.

Cecilia* didn’t expect to develop disabilities in her early 40s. She had led an active life, working as an academic in a competitive field and enjoying intense activities such as rock climbing, camping, hiking, kayaking, Iyengar yoga, Crossfit, and running. She even flew glider planes for fun. In her own words, she has an “extreme personality” — she pushes herself hard in life and seeks out challenging situations, whether working or playing.

Cecilia describes herself as an “extreme personality” and once enjoyed such intense outdoor pastimes as rock climbing, among others. This all changed once she began a law degree and bar exam preparations. Photo courtesy Brook Anderson on Unsplash.

Cecilia used intense physical activity for relief from persistent stress and anxiety in her demanding life, but her body bore the brunt of that intensity. She began to notice that she was frequently injured and in pain, and her healing process was unusually slow. Sitting in a chair and walking became increasingly difficult. The problems worsened when she began law school. As her degree progressed and the bar exam approached, the range and intensity of her symptoms increased dramatically. She had always been active and followed common guidelines for health. What had gone wrong?

Cecilia has seen an array of specialists she calls her “team.” She now includes Esther Gokhale on this list. Image courtesy Anne Karakash on Pixabay.

Over time, Cecilia amassed a supportive team of conventional and holistic medical practitioners who ruled out several conditions and found others. Her symptoms read like a laundry list. Unusually severe joint injuries and pain caused by relatively minor trauma. Poor balance. Extreme, chronic pain and fatigue, worsened by sitting and progressing to the point where all she could do was lie on the floor. Sizeable ovarian cysts which, thankfully, turned out not to be cancerous, but still required surgical diagnosis and monitoring. Infertility. Poor sleep quality. No arthritis, but indications of inflamed nerves and nerve roots. Persistent and severe irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), flare-ups of which often required Cecilia to spend 10 or 12 hours a day in the bathroom and left her ravenous and exhausted in her own body, unable to digest the food she ate. At her self-described “lowest points,” Cecilia sometimes woke up to discover she’d had an accident in the night as she slept. She recalls resenting a homeless person asking for money outside the pharmacy — they, at least, were able to obtain nourishment from food, unlike her. She felt ashamed of her accidents, her feelings, and her predicament.

Law school exacts a physical and psychological toll upon even the healthiest among us. Over the course of a few years, Cecilia went from extreme thrill-seeker to someone forced to use a mobility scooter to walk her dog. Both sitting and walking caused pain. Unless something changed, she didn’t know how she’d physically be able to sit for her bar exam, the culmination of her grueling law degree program and the gateway to her new career.

Active, intensity-seeking Cecilia never expected to come to rely on a mobility scooter to walk her dog. Image courtesy Sabine van Erp on Pixabay.

All of Cecilia’s individually challenging health concerns emerged and were diagnosed over the past few years, but it was having to depend on the mobility scooter, along with extremely slow-healing contusions to her bones found on X-rays, that spurred her toward a deeper investigation of the root cause of her problems. One of her doctors’ recommendation for pelvic floor physical therapy and a potential diagnosis of spinal arthritis (spondyloarthropathy) eventually led Cecilia to investigate posture training.

A postural approach to chronic pain

In childhood, she remembers her mother reminding her to “Stop slouching!” and to “Stand up straight!” However, what it means to have “good posture”, in terms of the technicalities and which muscles to utilize, has only started to become clear recently through her work first with another posture training method and now, with the Gokhale Method.

Like many Gokhale Method students, Cecilia first encountered Esther’s approach to posture through her book, 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back. Some time before her symptoms reached their maximum intensity, she attended a Free Introductory Workshop, which was helpful, but as she was traveling frequently cross-country, her posture ended up on the back burner. She also didn’t initially think her posture could be related to her symptoms.

Esther in action, teaching at the Birch Street Studio in Palo Alto.

In contrast to Cecilia’s other posture training class, which focused mainly on relaxation, the Gokhale Method brings an array of techniques and real-life skills to the table. It also offers multiple props to assist those techniques, as well as innovative wearable tech. Each lesson is structured and specific: each micro-movement is broken down and clearly communicated, and Cecilia is given guidelines for followup practice and exercises. The curriculum continues beyond the studio and is incorporated into daily life.

Cecilia finds Esther’s teaching style especially noteworthy. As a teacher, Esther is compassionate and gentle, not judgmental or pushy — a particularly helpful demeanor for someone like Cecilia who has pushed herself very hard her whole adult life. Esther’s nonjudgmental attitude toward her students allows Cecilia to embrace where she is, here and now. “Esther really sees this as a process,” says Cecilia. “Each class is a process.” And it would be silly, she says, to think of that process in a judgmental way. This focus on learning, acceptance, and growth contrasts dramatically with the more typical American attitude, so exemplified by Cecilia’s pursuit of a law degree, an industry which idealizes perfection and punishes “underperformance” with shame and guilt.

Cecilia’s notable progress is evident in these photos and SpineTracker readings.

Cecilia finds it easy to progress in the nurturing environment of Esther’s lessons, and is able to refrain from berating herself about her ability level. She’s even experiencing gratitude to be stressing about her upcoming professional licensure examination, a grueling, three-day ordeal. "Considering everything that’s happened,” she feels “really fortunate." Were it not for her improved symptoms, Cecilia wouldn’t even have been able to consider sitting for the examination in the first place. She says, “Esther’s teaching me flexibility.” As is evident from her changing attitude toward her own body and ability, that flexibility is clearly not limited to the physical.

Although she hasn’t returned to her extreme outdoors activities, Cecilia credits the Gokhale Method with helping restore her ability to walk without pain. Photo courtesy Simon Lehmann on Pixabay.

Hope for the future

As Ceclia’s posture improved, her symptoms also improved.  Her joint pain started to improve after beginning posture training in October 2018. Since taking private lessons with Esther in early 2019, Cecilia hasn’t experienced significant joint pain. Her joint and ankle issues have mostly subsided, and her upper back pain is reduced. When pain does occur, she now knows how to use her breathing to manage the pain better. She can now walk her dog for 2 miles at a time without any pain. Her IBS has gotten more manageable, though she still has occasional flare-ups. Cecilia is optimistic that her posture training will continue to benefit her various symptoms.

Cecilia’s case is unusually complex and challenging. When she has time, she still practices medical qi gong and gets acupuncture, though she’s had to scale these back as she prepares for the ordeal of her bar exam. In addition, she continues to get sports massage and chiropractic treatment and follow a therapeutic diet for her IBS. In her own eyes, Cecilia still has a great deal of work to do and a long way to travel on this path. But things are looking up. She hasn’t needed to used her electric scooter for several months. And she’s on track to take her bar exam. She wouldn’t have been able to say that a year ago.

Cecilia’s dog benefits from her owner’s improvements, too! Image courtesy RitaE on Pixabay.

*Name changed for privacy reasons.